What should I do if my partner tries to push me into a financial decision?
You shouldn’t have to do anything that you are uncomfortable with. However, it can be very difficult to say no safely, especially if your partner is violent or aggressive.
If you are having the conversation with your partner and he has a serious problem or becomes aggressive, this is a clear warning sign. If you’re afraid of even having the conversation, that’s an even stronger sign – speak to one of them, please Charities above.
If your partner is safe to speak and you are not afraid of their reaction, then clearly state that you would prefer to keep your finances separate for the moment, that it is too soon, and that you are naturally conservative.
What should I do if my partner wants me to give him money?
If you can’t afford it, are new in a relationship, or are uncomfortable, just say no. You could try to explain this, you could make things uncomfortable, and you don’t want to risk ruining the relationship. To make up for that, so it’s less about you, why not tell them you read it on this website or in a magazine?
When you want to do this, you can write down the date, amount and purpose of the loan and whether repayment is expected, ask them to sign it. That way, you’ll have evidence that there was a contract between the two of you (explain again that you’ve read that this is the way to go). Even better, if the amount involved is larger, hiring a lawyer to draft the contract – that would help in court if you ever wanted to pursue the cash.
If not, at least send an email to yourself or a trusted friend – so that it is timestamped – with all these details and explain that your partner promised to repay you (if it is true) or that you felt compelled to do it – so you have contemporaneous notes that can later be accepted as evidence if necessary.
Are you concerned that your partner has taken on debt on your behalf without telling you?
To monitor it, check yours Credit report (free) and look for uses and unusual products that you did not apply for. If this happened then it is a scam and you most likely will not have to repay it. Report it to the police and your bank.
If it happened to you, contact the fraud prevention service CIFAS and tell him that you have been the victim of a scam.
Your credit file will then be marked for £ 25 for two years (the fee can be waived in hardship or circumstances such as domestic violence). So if any other product is requested on your behalf, it will be displayed and will contact you prior to processing.
Of course, in the context of financial abuse, there are obvious and significant concerns about shared accounts. However, shared bank or savings accounts are not necessarily a bad idea for those living in long-term, loving, non-abusive, trusting, and stable relationships if this type of money management works for you.
However, if the relationship changes, even if it is not abusive, the separation of joint accounts and theirs can be the cause of great stress and friction.
A partner can legally take all of the money in a joint account.
The nature of joint accounts means that one partner can have access without the other’s permission. Then when they withdraw all the money, they are allowed to.
If you are concerned about this, ask your bank to change the signing rules so that both signatures are required to release money. However, this can result in your inability to have access to a debit card and access to online banking.
Separation is also a good management tool when you have different financial personalities – a donor and a saver – as it can reduce frictional losses in the relationship.
It’s also worth reminding you, as I mentioned earlier, that setting up a shared account will link your credit files together. So if you have bad credit, it is best to avoid this or it can bring both of you down.
I would be especially careful about opening a joint bank account (except for joint bills) too early in a relationship – especially if they are pressuring you or trying to convince you that this is a way to show love.
Give each new relationship the time and really get to know the person before you commit to joining your finances or giving their money. Perhaps test it out by asking a reasonable close friend if they think the time has come, their distance can be a valuable perspective.
As society has changed, so have social norms in banking.
A lot of people now get together later and we no longer have the more traditional roles of the male breadwinner, the female housewife (marriage is actually no longer exclusively heterosexual).
Perhaps the biggest change in this regard is that more women are now financially independent when in a relationship and for the life of the relationship.
It is therefore not surprising that the number of people who bundle all resources on one account is decreasing. This site carried out a survey in June 2019 that shows a strong difference between age groups …
Bank account sharing by couples (24,046 votes)
– 21% have a common bank account for everything.
– 56% have a joint account only for invoices.
– 18% have completely separate finances.
– 37% have a common bank account for everything.
– 41% have a joint account only for invoices.
– 17% have completely separate finances.
– 54% have a common bank account for everything.
– 29% have a joint account for invoices only.
– 12% have completely separate finances.