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As the patron saint of the Bachelor of Arts, Squidward Tentacles has always been one of Bikini Bottom’s most relevant punchlines (or punching bags). Most of his appearances involve jokes about his talent, or lack thereof, according to the showrunners of Sponge Bob SquarePants. However, looking back, Squidward might not have been this mediocre of an artist.

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In fact, he has his own impressive portfolio that might even put other artists in the real world to shame (not attacking anyone here, peace!). At a time, Sponge Bob SquarePants Still manages to describe how disappointing Squidward can be when it comes to both his art and his attitude towards him. So here is a list to better assess if Squidward’s art was really “Bold and Brash” or if it “belonged in the trash”.


ten GOOD ARTIST: HE IS REALLY GOOD WITH THE CLARINET


squidward plays the clarinet

Squidward is snobbish about his musical skills or anything about him, really, but some of what he’s proud of isn’t really without merit unlike what the show implies. The case in point is that he is a fairly decent clarinetist who is able to play classical music such as Solitude in E minor (something Patrick doesn’t appreciate).

Plus, he fits well into the standards of his species, especially when he moved to Tentacle Acres and started joining a trio of clarinets without interrupting or ruining their playing. It also seems like it’s not just the clarinet which he masters but also other instruments since he was ready to teach any Bikini Bottom his musical know-how.

9 NOT REALLY: SONG FOR PEARL


4-ply squid

Just because a person is good at playing musical instruments does not mean that he can sing well. Either way, Squidward thought otherwise and considered himself a Pavarotti when placed on location, especially when Mr. Krabs forced him to make Pearl’s birthday special.

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So Squidward put together his own musical number and did a song about … toilet paper, of all things. Sure, it was impromptu, but maybe a happy birthday clarinet song would have been enough? Either way, that wasn’t Squidward’s strong suit as an artist and it made Pearl’s birthday worse.

8 GOOD ARTIST: SELF-PORTRAITS


squid self-portrait

The most famous artists in history have their own self-portraits from Vincent van Gogh to Leonardo da Vinci. Some of them, like van Gogh, did not even know that their art would become important cultural icons much later. Squidward likely channels his inner van Gogh, especially with his self-portraits.

He’s got a ton of them, all in different styles, like Pablo Picasso did. Abstractism, Surrealism, Impressionism, Cubism – viewers can bet that there is a Squidward self-portrait for every style of painting and movement available. It’s pretty narcissistic of her, but it shows her visual artistic range.

7 NOT REALLY: TO EAT YOUR OWN ART


squid eats its own paint

Too bad all these self-portraits do not represent much. Considering that Squidward’s most dominant painting subjects are himself, and there’s the fact that he’s still alive, it would seem that his art isn’t so well worth it. So when he quit the Krusty Krab out of frustration and decided to pursue his dreams, he thought he could take on the world only with his talent.

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It didn’t work out very well and no one would buy his paintings and other artwork, so he had to eat them all. Of course, it was just the show that laughed at him as always but more often than not it becomes the case with many underrated artists. Let’s just say Squidward wasn’t ready at that point yet.

6 GOOD ARTIST: COMPETENT IN SEVERAL ARTISTIC DISCIPLINES


squid wax figure

Oddly enough, the series portrayed Squidward as a pompous, talentless charlatan with jokes, but looking back, Squidward seems to have enough talent for everything Bikini Bottom. In several episodes, he even shows how many artistic disciplines he can tackle. It can be anything from painting, wax carving, pottery, music, metal sculptures, and many more that he hasn’t bragged about yet.

The average person today probably doesn’t even have the same aptitude or expertise for art. Squidward has easily turned his entire house into an art museum due to the number of varied art projects he can achieve. Unfortunately, he’s stuck in a pink collar minimum wage job for some reason.

5 NOT REALLY: REDESIGNING THE KRUSTY KRAB


spongebob fine cuisine

There seems to be a trend here regarding the artistic productions of Squidward. The “good” art he produces seems to come out of his own accidental passions. If his goals for art involve showing off and being a slave to validation, then it fails miserably like this time he decided to renovate and change the Krusty Krab just to show Squilliam Fancyson that he falsely got it. succeeded.

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Interior design also counts as art as well as fine cuisine. Unfortunately, Squidward didn’t do so well at expanding these areas too much and had to rely on SpongeBob SquarePants to go mad for this last minute Krusty Krab overhaul. Even so, he failed miserably to the tune of the world’s smallest violin.

4 GOOD ARTIST: SCULPTING “OPPRESSION”


Art becomes more relevant and meaningful to the world when it represents something of value and interest to society other than provoking feelings on the part of the viewer. There was one instance where Squidward made a sculpture not of himself but of what represents consumerism, greed and corporate toxicity in Bikini Bottom called “Oppression”.

Really, it’s just a spooky angular sculpture of Mr. Krabs. Still, we dare say it’s one of Squidward’s best because he did it both consciously and passionately. “Oppression” was a manifestation of how he felt towards his boss and the Krusty Krab, it was time he did something like that.

3 NOT REALLY: VARIETY DANCE SHOW


squid dance

Here’s another example of Squidward failing badly as he simply seeks fame and recognition. In one of the first episodes of Sponge Bob SquarePants Named “Culture Shock”, the Krusty Krab has transformed into a theater where employees have performed.

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Squidward reserved himself for the end, believing his performance would be widely accepted as a masterpiece. All he did was perform a repulsive and weird interpretive dance with no cultural identity and in the worst attire ever. Suffice to say that dance is not also his strong point in art.

2 GOOD ARTIST: CARVING MICHAELANGELO’S DAVID


squidward sculpts david

What is Squidward’s finest piece of art, you ask? These are not the self-portraits, nor the clarinet solos, nor the socially relevant “Oppression”. No, Squidward’s magnum opus is a PG version of Michelangelo’s David with 99% accuracy.

To think he did it out of rage and only by accident. Either way, this pretty much proves that Squidward is indeed a good artist who is generally uninspired and needs more positive or productive motivation other than fame or vanity.

1 NOT REALLY: BEING A CONDUCTOR


squid gang geeks

While his musical skills or tastes are undeniably sophisticated, Squidward’s mentoring skills are not. It became quite necessary when he wanted to show himself again to Squilliam in the famous episode “Band Geeks” where he took on the role of conductor.

Needless to say, he wasn’t a good conductor at least compared to someone like SpongeBob SquarePants who pulled the group together and put on the best Super Bowl performance in history. Therefore, Squidward reaped the rewards of all of SpongeBob’s hard work and learned nothing, so he remained an underrated artist.

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